Of Chairs and Pregnancy Tests
by Stupid little slut
Summary: An AR story about what would happen if Kitsune Tsaki got pregnant as a teen, and the people who would help--and hurt--her along the way. Based closely off of Juno. Some Naruto characters as well. I do not own Juno or DN or Naruto.
1. One

**A\N: Just so you know, I changed a few things that I didn't think needed to be in here, and added some things as well. Hopefully you all enjoy reading! **

It started with a computer chair.

Kitsune raised the jug of Sunny D to her lips and took another drink, grimacing. She exhaled sharply, surveying the discarded furniture in front of her. A beautiful living room set, tossed out by the irritable old woman living in the house out front. Details from that night came flooding back into her mind, as if a dam had burst.

_Kitsune made her way slowly across the dimly lit office. The sandy carpeting tickled the bottoms of her feet and a nervous, excited smile sat shakily on her lips. Her cheeks filled with color as she leaned forward, her ear a fraction of an inch from his lips. _

_"I've…uh…I've wanted this for a really long time…" L Lawliet murmured softly. _

_"I know," she quipped, smiling against his skin._

A small dog yipped and howled, tugging fiercely at the chain bound around its collar.

"Shut the hell up, okay!" Kitty demanded, closing her eyes and turning on her heel. The convenience store was a bit of a walk from her neighborhood, but she didn't mind. It gave her time to think. About what to do if…

"No," she whispered aloud. It couldn't be true; it was ridiculous to even think of it! But as she turned the corner and the store came into sight, a thick knot of nausea wound itself in her stomach. The tinkling of the small bell rigged up to the door only set her nerves higher on edge.

"Ah, if it isn't McGutt the Crime Dog, back again."

Kitty raised her eyes to glare acidly at the man behind the counter. He wore his brown and beige striped sweater and goggles even with the store uniform. A cigarette dangled from his lips, unlit.

"I remain unconvinced."

This was the only explanation she offered as she scanned the shelves for another home pregnancy test. Her third that day. Approaching the counter, she stretched out her open palm and nodded toward the bathroom pass that hung limply from its peg on the corkboard behind Matt.

"You honestly think this one's going to be any different?" he challenged coolly, forking over the pass to the irritated young girl. Kitty said nothing, but merely rolled her eyes and stalked into the bathroom.

"You pay for that when you're done, Mama Bear!" she heard him call after her.

After successfully completing the test, she skulked back into the storefront, her jaw set and her eyes looking anywhere else but the small piece of hope in her hand.

"Hey," Matt said pensively, leaning forward to let his elbows rest on the glass countertop, "maybe you're little boyfriend has crazy mutant sperms, knocked you up twice."

"Silencio, cretin!"

"Just saying, it's a possibility. So what's the prognosis?"

Holding her breath, she looked down. A small, pink plus sign glared up at her mockingly.

She sighed, "Well, there it is. The proof of my spawn."

"For sure. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, youngin."

She snorted in disbelief, wondering how in the world she was going to explain this to L.

*****

"Hi, Mrs. Yamanashi, is Hono there?" Kitty asked, her fingers wound tightly around the telephone cord. She had been mustering up the stamina to call her best friend for nearly half an hour.

"Yo, yo, yo, Kitty-Sune, what's new?" Honoka's voice floated through the receiver, a welcome sound.

"I'm at suicide risk," the older girl responded dryly.

"What? What's the matter? Are you hardcore PMSing again? I told you I can't handle that shit, man. They make pills for this now."

"Hono…I'm pregnant."

"Yeah, sure," her friend said in a smiling voice. "You eat too much General Tso's chicken and suddenly you're preggo. You'll get rid of that food baby in about six hours."

"Dude, I'm not kidding. I took like, three pregnancy tests. I am totally housing a bastard child."

"You had enough pee for all those tests? That's freaking amazing."

"You're cavalier reaction is not what I was expecting…"

"Wait…is this for real? Like…for _real_, for real?" Hono ventured nervously.

"No, Honoka. I'm a sick twisted freak who enjoys batting your emotions around like a tetherball. Of course it's for real," Kitsune snapped.

"Oh my _god_. Oh_ shit_!"

"There we go; you seem to be getting it now."

"So…" the blonde paused, as if unsure of what to say. "Are you gonna go to Stonecove or Women Now; because you're parents have to sign that consent thing for Stonecove."

"Um, I think I'll go to Women Now, because they help out women now. I'll call myself and everything. I do need you're help with one thing, though."

"Oh really?"

"Okay, ready? One…two…three!"

With a grunt, the two blonde girls hoisted the last of the living room furniture (a brown armchair) into the back of Kitty's parent's van. Honoka, Kitty's best friend of five years, did not bother to point out that heavy lifting could really only help Kitty at this point.

"So, when did you decide you were gonna screw Lawliet?" Hono queried mischievously. Kitty cracked a smile and said, "Oh…I dunno. About a year ago in English class?"

"You totally love him," the younger girl stated matter-of-factly.

"You know, it's really complicated. And at least I'm not in love with my Literature teacher," Kitty retorted, grinning.

*****

Lounged in the sunken brown armchair, Kitsune clasped a wooden pipe between her teeth. She eyed the front door of L Lawliet's house, checked her watch. If she had to tell him, it might as well be now.

As if reading her mind, the front door swung inward and L stepped out. His gaze immediately snapped to the girl occupying the living room set that had seemingly been torn from a magazine and placed in his front yard.

"Hey L," she greeted, blowing bubbles out of the wood pipe.

"Hey?" his eyebrows were raised nearly to his hairline.

"You're jeans are like, especially dark today," she observes, pointing the pipe at his baggy blue-jeans.

"Oh, thanks. My mom uses color-safe bleach."

"Go Mrs. Lawliet."

"I um…I should get going," he said weakly.

"So guess what I found out?"

"What? I don't know, what is it?"

Her teeth dug deeper into the polished oak pipe, the sound of the splintering wood too loud in her ears as she blurted, "I'm pregnant."

The black haired boy's eyes widened, his arm dropped from his neck and he stammered, "What…wh-what should we do?"

"I figured…you know, I'd just nip it in the bud. Because they said in health class that pregnancy can, uh, often lead to, uh, a baby."

L said nothing. He nodded in a manner that seemed to say _if you think it's best._ Finally he muttered, "I should go."

Kitty rose to her feet, stung.

"Well," she began coolly, "I'm sorry I had sex with you. I know it wasn't like, you're idea."

"Then whose idea was it?" he asked as she mounted her bike. She didn't bother to acknowledge his question, but only sped down the sidewalk, calling, "I'll see you at school!"

"Then…whose idea was it?"


	2. Two

**A\N: Well, here it is. The second chapter. Sorry it took me so long to update, but hopefully it's worth the wait. Again, some things have been edited. Enjoy.**

"Goddammit!" Kitty swore, kneeling down to recollect the scattered pages of her History book. As she haphazardly shoved the pages into the center of the textbook, Matsuda Touta and his loyal band of drones swaggered past her.

"You're book fell apart," Matsuda pointed out, smirking.

"Really?" Kitty questioned sardonically.

"It must've looked at your face," he retorted lamely. Kitsune rolled her large blue eyes as the troupe of morons strutted down the hallway and blended into the throng of groggy students suffocating the building.

"You know he like, secretly wants your bod," Honoka informed her friend, leaning lazily against the older girl's locker and grinning broadly. "Jocks like Matsuda Touta always want freaky girls."

"Gee, thanks. You know he checks you out all the time, too, but you're too busy drooling over Mr. Roan and his pubic hair beard," Kitty said, standing up and half smiling at the blonde.

"Oh, shut up and waddle to class," she snapped playfully, shoving Kitty in the direction of the chemistry lab.

*****

"Yeah, I'm calling to procure a hasty abortion."

Kitsune sat cross-legged at the foot of her bed, talking quietly into her do-it-yourself-build-a-phone. The receptionist on the other end of the line spoke in such a cheery forced way that Kitty could only wonder if she was a recording. In a deadpan voice, the young girl answered the slew of questions being fired from the abortion clinic arsenal.

"Sixteen. About three weeks since _the_ sex, but mind you that's just like, a guesstimation. Sorry, how long have I been what?"

Kitty hated it when adults used the term "sexually active". It made her feel like a switch had been flipped and might not be able to be shut off again. A sex-crazed robot from some creepy New Ager movie.

"Okay, tomorrow at four, thanks." Kitty slammed down the phone before the woman could finish her rehearsed "you have a good day" speech and plodded down the stairs to join her family in the dining room. Kakashi Tsaski, her father, was regaling a story of a broken down furnace that nearly exploded from poor ventilation. He compared it to a land mine, some freaky connection to his army days before he became an H-VAC specialist. He and Kitty's mother had gotten a divorce when she was seven and after all the paperwork was completed, packed up and moved to Arizona. Her daughter's room was now filled with small, potted cacti sent by her mother every Valentine's day.

"Kit, did you by any chance hurl in my vase?" her stepmother, Anko, asked, examining her manicured nails imprinted with small pictures of puppies. Dogs were an obsession of Anko's, foiled by Kitty's unfortunate allergy to canine saliva. Anko was referring to a hideous vase she had purchased when Kitsune's half sister, Kimi, was born.

"I would never puke in your vase, Anko," she lied, remembering all too well the 62 ounce lime slurpee that she had drank in under ten seconds and promptly vomited into said vase.

"Well, maybe Kimi did it, I suppose," Anko sighed, still staring suspiciously at her stepdaughter.

Kitty, feeling the tension begin to build, announced to the room, "Well, uh, I'm full. 'Night!"

She darted quickly up the stairs, leaving her untouched plate behind her.

****

Honoka pulled into the parking lot of the Women Now clinic, parking in two spots and nearly missing a stray cat scampering the length of the black asphalt. Kitty finally let go of the armrests, her knuckles still white from pressure.

"Remind me which instructor was on crack the day you got your license?" she asked breathlessly.

"Nobody but me, babe. Now go do the deed and I'll pick you up here at 5:30, okay?" Hono told her best friend, looking into her face with genuine concern. Kitty nodded and stepped out of the car, waving the blonde goodbye as she skidded out of the parking lot with a sharp squeal of tires on pavement.

Shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans, Kitsune loped across the lot. As the steps of the building drew closer, she began to hear the chanting of some anti-abortion mantra.

"All babies want to be born! All babies want to be born! All babies want to b—…oh, hey Kitsune."

The pregnant teen lifted her eyes to her fellow classmate, Ichikimi Maaka. Ichikimi's long brown hair was ruffled by the wind and her cheeks were tinted pink from the biting winter chill. Kitty couldn't help but notice that the word "babies" was spelled wrong on the lone picket sign the brunette was hoisting above her head.

"Hey, Ichikimi. What are you doing here all by your lonesome?"

"Uh, I tried to write a paper for Mr. Wahl's class, but I had trouble concentrating, so I came down here to…uh…yeah," she half explained.

"Well, I'll sell you some of my Adderall if you want," Kitty offered.

Ichikimi rocked nervously on her feet while saying, "Uh…no thanks. I'm um…I'm off pills."

"That's a wise choice. I knew this girl, and she had this like, crazy episode because she took way too many behavioral medications at the same time. So she like, ripped of all her clothes and dove into the fountain at the mall and was all 'I am a Cracken from the sea!'" Kitty said, laughing.

"I heard that was you," the protester informed her.

"Well, it was nice seeing you, Ichikimi," Kitty said dismissively, tightening her pony-tail and throwing open the door, ignoring the Maaka girl's calls that her baby had a beating heart and fingernails.

She sauntered over to the front desk, sweeping her bangs out of her face. The young man behind the counter had short red hair and a love kanji tattooed on his forehead. He had his eyes on the glowing screen of a handheld game, and continued to mash buttons even as he regurgitated his canned greeting.

"Welcome to Women Now where women are trusted friends. Please state your name."

"Kitsune Tsaski?"

The man shoved a clipboard stuffed with papers at her, his eyes still not moving from the screen of the game.

"Fill these out in detail. We need to know about every sore and every score. Would you like a complimentary grape condom?" he asked, jerking his head at the bowl of purple rubbers sitting on the desk like perfectly normal décor.

"Uh, no, I'm off sex."

"I use them every time my girlfriend and I have intercourse. She says they make my joy stick smell like candy," he informed her lightly. She bit her tongue and grabbed the clipboard, retreating to a secluded teal chair in the corner of the waiting area.

After a few minutes, she looked around. All the quiet noises the other patrons were making sounded deafening and her heart began to race under her ribs. Her lungs seemed to contract, forcing all the air out of her lungs. She leapt up, the clipboard clicking heavily on the tile floor as she tore out of the building.

This couldn't be it. She couldn't do it. Whether anybody liked it or not, she was staying pregnant.

"What the hell am I gonna do?" she asked herself wearily. More importantly, she wondered, how was she going to tell her parents?


End file.
